What is Roschke?
1.
a Roschke is known for confidently saying interesting facts throughout the course of a conversation and backing them up with evidence and support that are nearly impossible to prove or disprove thereby giving him the benefit of the doubt. A Roschke's daily diet consists of burritos from Chipotle and Coke that he devours indescriminatly. Furthermore, he tends to indulge in Alcoholic beverages in a very fastidious manner only consuming the drinks that meet his high standard of approval. Also, Rochkes are unreliable and will show up late to all occasions summoned, thereby making Rochkes extremely hard to find and rare. A Roschke is extremely fascinated with fish and is likely to be near one at all times.
guy 1: Oh man, I haven't eaten all day and I can't even finish this burrito.
a Roschke: actually, the reason you can't finish that burrito is because you haven't eaten all day. Your stomach has contracted throughout the day making it harder for you to eat your usual ammount!
guy 1: you don't say?
a Rochke: yes, that's why the people who starve often die when faced with the opportunity to eat as much as they want. They are so excited by the prospect of eating that their contracted stomachs are unable to withstand the unusually heavy intake of nutrition.
guy 1: damn
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