Rude Awakening

What is Rude Awakening?


1.

The act of waking someone up from a deep sleep by pulling your butt cheeks apart, sitting on their nose, and letting go of your cheeks

Alfie was sleeping in this morning so I decided to give him a rude awakening.

2.

The act of putting a thumb over the mouth of a bottle of champagneand then agitating it order to bring it to the highest possible pressure. The bottle is then thrust into the anus of an unsuspecting girl(or, preferrably, a sleeping whore), thereby shooting champagne into her rectal cavity violently.

Generally, the finer the whore, the finer the champagne that should be used. In the case of a 4 dollar " ho", malt liquor may be used.

"The recoil from that rude awakening was quite a mess."

- or -

The malt liquor must have fermented in her ass after the rude awakening, because I went to work drunkafter that 9 AM rim job.

- or -

"The prostitute wanted to charge me extra after I gave her a rude awakening, but I told her to f' off and left. She couldn't get up without malt liquor leaking out her ass, so she made an un-hasty chase."

- or -

"I rushed my rude awakening and hit the wrong hole. Wouldn't have been so bad if she wasn't on the menses at the time. Let's just say there was cotton and chunks of blood everywhere.

See ass rocket, menses


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