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An old wrinkly basterd who pretends to be a 10 yr. old Condition-Zero player, and talks about donuts all the time.
And you know what he..
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Before doing a girl doggy style put in a big chew of tobacco or snuff (your preference) when you are about to splooge, spit the tobacco ..
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This is a person that does quests for money. (see also questitution. This may mean literal quests but this is hard to accomplish now-a-d..