What is S.a.a.s?
1.
Socially Akward All Stars
You know you're Socially Akward( S.A.A.S) when
• Your credit card gets denied at Ross
• You use periodic table elements to name food
• You feel uncomfortable and just stare at another person
• You self roofie and get back together with an ex – all in one night
• You adopt a stranger in a leather coat to drink beer with you
• You engage in conversation with the Dog Whisperer
• You’re delirious after running 18+ miles and start breeding animals in your head (HAMPIDGE)
• You catch a kickball with a Bloody Mary in your face
• You turn into a klempto/slut/compulsive liar when drunk
• You go to the bathroom and realize your underwear is inside out and yet you still tell your coworker
• You lap dance with everyone on a party bus
• You black out and leave your shit all over the city
• You're balls deep in a specialty cookie and get chocolate all over your face, alone in an alley
• You use “Do you want to play on our kickball team?” as a pick up line
• You always end up at Barnone and Bus Stop despite your best efforts
• You show up for the zillionth time in the same outfit and people wonder why they associate with you
• You call someone a "standard poodle"
• Your nickname is Javier, Jerry Curl or Rain Man
• You’re so drunk you get falafel all over your face at 6pm on a Sunday and call all your friends to tell them
• You think about your boss during a marathon
• Your second best pick up line is “Hey I’m wearing a thong”
• You hitchhike on Divisidero so you’re not late for a movie
• You get kicked off a bus in Daly City for giving the driver attitude
• You call yourself a cougar when you’re under the age of 30
• Flabongo is your best friend
• You wake up on the floor of your room in a dirty clothes pile wearing a two-piece suit, fanny pack, baseball helmet, and a Flabongo at 8pm, calling your boss saying you won’t make it in until midnight on Monday.
• You sleepwalk out of your apartment, wake up half naked in the hall of a different floor and earn the nickname spidey or your efforts to get back inside your room
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