What is Safe Sex?
1.
Moving the bed two feet from the wall so your girl doesn't get a concussion.
EMS: "Sir how did this happen?"
Me: "We were fuckin' and then i had a back spasm and she hit her head from the thrust."
EMS: "Sir, practice safe sex next time and move the bed away from the wall."
2.
When two safes have sex
Look, those safes are getting it on.
See
3.
Using a condom or pill during sex so a baby is not conceived, an STD is not transmitted. However, it is kind of an oxymoron:
Donald discovered that safe sex is not really safe after his girlfriend, Katherine, choked on his condom and died.
See
4.
Safe sex is in the palm of your hand.
Masturbate you idiot if your that concerned about STD's or pregnancy. Its the safest safe sex you'll ever have
See
5.
1. Using a false name.
2. Using a false phone number.
3. Not coming back to your own place.
That lunch lady I met at the 7-11 wants to introduce me to her kids. Fortunately, I was practicing safe sex.
6.
1) An oxymoron.
2) A term for a condom.
"Dude, I need some safe sex with some girl."
"You know the SAFE part isn't going to happen, right?"
"Yeah."
7.
Something most people don't understand.
It's called a condom.
My whores and I practise safe sex. I don't wanna get second-hand shpongle on me.
