What is Safeway?
1.
the shittiest company i have ever worked for
i work for a slave labour company
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2.
The shittiest place anyone could dare work. Synonomous with flamboyant douchebaggery, started by a man with the last name "Skaggs". Forced customer service regime and secret shoppers, workers who do not comply will be executed and sold as safeway select potted meat. Pay is below minimum wage and one may expect to have a throng of mentally handicapt co-workers. Three minute lunch breaks are permitted; one usually has to order food from the "service deli" inhabited by stoned fucktards and sandwiches made of decaying human entrails. Shitty value, high prices, fucktard co-workers, and shitty health care. Safeway sucks!
"Bo Jim, that retard you remember from school, is your manager at Safeway."
"That fucking safeway select sandwich i eat opened a vons chain in my small intestine."
"The safeway service deli food is to decaying human remains that arbys is to roadkill."
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3.
Safeway (3rd Planet in the Supermarket Solar System)
Population: 200 poorly paid employees, 20 young wannabes with nothing to but hang out at a supermarket on a Saturday night, 10 angry old people with stupid questions, 50 or so middle aged soccer mum species who consider themselves to be the most superior species on the planet, and 5 to 6 managers wandering aimlessly doing nothing.
Orbit: Around the planet is a vast asteroid like field of 4WD Class Space ships piloted by soccer mums. Extremely hostile and dangerous! Take caution!
Environment: Employees are regularly subjected to the hostile natives and are forced to endure seasonal carol music non-stop for a month.
Recommendation: Avoid AT ALL COSTS!
"I got past the Soccer Mum asteroid field only to be rammed to death by a roving granny with a walking frame!"
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4.
A crappy grocery store that sells stuff at rediculously high prices. The only cool thing about safeway is that alot of them dont have any security alarms and cameras. Making it a good place to score some free stuff.
I just made a beer run at safeway yesterday and got away with it because they're too cheap to put up security systems
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5.
A damn expensive store with low value
Never shop at Safeway or you'll get my warning. Or is it? Not making sense? I will.
6.
A grocery story with employees that call you by whatever typo your Safeway card has on it, or what your phone number says. This is an attempt to be personal, but it's rather creepy.
Otherwise, a decent store that annoyingly liberal people boycott for no reason, claming that
Ben the idiot went to Trader Joe's to buy his crystallized cane juice. Little did the moron realize it was just sugar with a new name, and he could have gotten the same thing for half the price at Safeway. CAPITALISM YAY.
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7.
A store with damn high prices but low value
Never shop at safeway or you'll get my warning. Or is it? I'm not making sense? I will soon.
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