Santa Claus Edit Meaning

1.

The fat bastard who didn't give me a Bumblebee Transformer in 1985, and will die a slow, painful death for being such a lying son of a bitch.

Me: All I want this year is a Bumblebee Transformer.

Santa Claus: Alright, you've got it.

--- Christmas morning 1985 ---

Me: (sobbing) Mommy, I didn't get a Bumblebee Transformer.

Mommy: Santa must not have had enough in stock for all the demand.

Me: (yelling) I don't give a shit, he's a fucking lying fat bastard!

--- Christmas Eve 2010 ---

Santa Claus: What the...? Who are you?

Me: I'm the kid you didn't get off your fat ass to find a Bumblebee Transformer for in 1985.

Santa Claus: I'm sorry.

Me: You will be sorry when I feed you your own nuts! Where's my scissors? And by the way, the Bumblebee Transformer isn't too hard to find now. I've got one right here. Bend over and I'll show it to you.

See fat bastard, santa clause

2.

The code name for a pedifile that has cannot be caught because he knows when your awake. Think about it...first he watches children to see if the are being "naughty" or "nice" then on christmas eve he breaks into home in the middle of the night, leaves "presents" for little "boys and girls", eat ALL the cookies and drinks up all the white stuff then leaves with a sadistic "ho ho ho".

kid1* did santa claus come to your house last night?

kid2* i...i don't wanna talk about it *bursts into tears*

See pedifile, sicko, sadist, ick

3.

The term "Santa Claus" is an American distortion of the Dutch name "San Niccolaus", meaning "Saint Nicolas". He is known by many other names around the world, such as "Kris Kringle" in some places and "Father Christmas" in Great Britain. Saint Nick was a Catholicbishop in what is now modern Turkey during the days of the Roman Empire. He left gifts for poor people in his town and after he died the legend of St. Nick coming to homes in a chariot carrying presents for good people was born. The legend was spread along with Christianityand when that faith reached the ArcticSt. Nick started riding a sleigh pulled by flying reindeer. The legend spread around the globe and in the 20th century in America Coca-Colaprovided the modern image of "Santa" as fat, jolly, rotund, with white hair and beard, wearing a red suit and blackboots and of course, drinking a bottle of Coke. He is beloved by children all over.

Santa Claus is based on a real person, just like many "fairy tales" and myths that have existed throughout history.

See christmas, legend, saint, bishop, turkey, nick, holiday, jesus

4.

He's making a list and checking it twice. Apparently, he'll find out who's naughty or nice.

Santa Claus is coming to town.

See santa, christmas, ho ho ho

5.

A drunk fat guy in a red suit who broke my heart at a mall when I was little.

Santa Claus: Tony, have you been nice this year?

Me: Yea, Santa!

Santa Claus: NO YOU HAVEN'T YOU LYING SON OF A BITCH, I SAW YOU TAKE A CRAP IN THAT LADY'S PURSE!

Me: :(...

See santa, claus, is, coming, to, town

6.

A large man in a red suit who hates Jews and all other non-Christians. Santa Clause is a rampant consumerist and breaks into houses for milk and cookies.

That fat-fucker Santa Clause didn't leave me any presents because he is intolerant.

See santa, christmas, nazi, racist, anti-semite

7.

Most likely a mythical modern retelling of a mystic group of hallucinogenic mushroom-eating Siberian shaman who wore red and white outfits, snuck in through the chimneys of villagers and distributed the sacred mushroom Amanita Muscaria. Other associations from the popular myth easily fall into place. The reindeer is the animal most associated with Amanita as it is a popular dish to them. Amanita tends to form a symbotic relationship with spruce or pine trees which are used for Christmas trees. It is also said that the Siberian shaman could fly, but probably not physically. However, Amanita often gives the sensation of flying.

Santa Claus was just a crazy mushroom cult all along.

See Requiett