What is Sasquatch?
1.
The "official" name of Bigfoot; a creature popularly described as being human-like in form but massive in size, appetite, and shoe-size (hence the name...). Often depicted as ape-like and bipedal, this hair-covered mammal is believed by arguably delusional hippies to be the last surviving link between modern man and our evolutionary past. It is believed that the creature resides in the dense forests of the American/Canadian northwest, due to the unconfirmed sitings of this creature in years past. The reason theorists believe it has survived so long is due partly to its elusive, defensively aggressive isolationist behavior, but also its ability to hibernate for very long periods of time after feeding seasons.
The sasquatch, much like UFOs, has had thousands of reported sitings, and not a single shred of verified physical proof found.
Picture a darker chewbacca with a human-like haircovered face.
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2.
A female with an excessive amount of pubic hair.
Damn you've got a hairy pussy! You got sasquatch living between your legs, bitch?
3.
A useless worker who never shows up at work but still collects a paycheck. Now and then there are rumors around the office of an actual sighting, but many of the co-workers have never actually seen this person.
Anyone seen the sasquatch this week?
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4.
A middle-aged, hairy man who dwells in public pool locker rooms. Almost always naked, they will traumatize unsespecting pool goers for hours.
Dude! Did you see that Sasquatch in there?
Yeah, now I have to go back to therapy.
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5.
A person who is a) unusually hairy or b) has extremely large feet. (Derived from the name for Bigfoot)
John's so hairy he looks like a sasquatch.
Mike just trampled me with his big ol' sasquatch feet.
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6.
A hairy female who is notorious for smelling like uncooked pastrami. This creature believes that by bleaching its large thatches of facial hair it can pass somewhat as human. Has an irritating high pitch voice and has a slight gimp fromn having wild snoo snoo with wild gorillas.
"Damn! Lisa's is one smelly sasquatch."
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7.
a hairy teenage girl that thinks shes the fucking hottest shit ever, but really shes fat, and hairy.
she thinks everyone is her friends, but they all hate her cause all she talks about is her.
shes the girl that sits there and talks about how she as no ass becuase she lost so much weight when really, she didnt lose any weight, and she never had an ass.
shes really fat, usually has a unibrow, and shaves her back.
dyes her hair abnormal colors, and looks like Whitney Houston.
*imagine sitting at lunch with her in the cafeteria*
girl-"hey marina whats up?"
sasquatch-"OMG,billy broke up with me, and now im going out with loren, but i still like billy, and still like loren, but idont know, lorens soo anooying, omg, and like soo is billy, but i really like billy you know???!!! OMG, i lost so much weight i dont have a butt anymore!!! isnt that amazing??!!! OMG, my aunt wont let me get my hair cut for 150$ so i have to only get it cut for $130, how lame is that?!?!! OMG,guess whos talking shit??!! wow what haters. PARTAY HARD BITCHES PARTAY HARD."
girl-"wow thank you for telling me things, I DONT FUCKING CARE ABOUT!"
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