Sauterize

What is Sauterize?


1.

1. To take advantage of one's slightly superior position at an office by making desperate and nonsensical comments to younger women in the hope that they will be naive enough to find it cute.

2. Unleashing one's alcohol-fueled loneliness leaving the recipient sexually victimized to an extent that recalls the effect of being sodomized by a step-father or likewise quasi-authority figure.

3. To prevent the matriculation of male trainees to full-time employment as a means of not diluting one's pussy pond.

4. To grow a salt and pepper goatee; to view open rejection as flirtation.

1. Michael: Wow, look at the hat you're wearing, I am genuinely impressed with your ability to warm yourself.

Girl: Please stop smelling your hand.

2. Girl 1: Hey, why are you hiding behind the corner?

Girl 2: Michael is hovering around my station if I get Sauterized one more time tonight I'm going to need to get a rape kit done and then join an improv comedy troupe.

3. Girl 1: What happened to that hot hipster with the big teeth, I haven’t seen him around?

Girl 2: Michael trained him.

Girl 1: God! Why does he have to Sauterize every possible sex partner? He has turned this place into a wasteland of Spanish speaking homos and muffin-top slampigs. Why can't he just go home and let his dog lick on his salt and pepper beard while he masturbates to Gossip Girl?

Girl 2: He has a dog?

See sodomy, pervert, lonely, rapist, alcoholic


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