What is Self Defense?
1.
What an alcoholic woman would claim after she attacks you with a knife.
Police officer: Why did you stab your husband multiple times?
Woman holding liquor bottle: Uh... self defense?
Police officer: Sir, you're going to jail.
Man: What?!
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2.
1) Legal Murder.
2) It is neccessary to stop the
1) I didn't murder him, it was self defense.
2a)Borat: How do I stop my wife from, eh, doing the rape?
self defense guy: well...
2b)borat: How do i stop a jew claw?
self defense guy: Knock away
borat:Jew claw
self defense guy:Knock away
borat:Jew claw
self defense guy: Knock away
borat: Two Jew claw
self defense guy:you can use two hands too
borat:Okay thank you
2c)Borat: Where is the cage for the woman?
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3.
popular method of thwarting muggers. Patented by self defense instructor Brett Kaywood and has proved to be effective in the only laboaratory that matters: The streets. When confronted by a
1) Gain wrist control
2) Pull out your gun
This technique can be used in many situations such as:
- You're walking home from work when a mugger confronts you in a back alleyway because he wants crack.
- Your best friend mugs you at his barbacue because he wants your money to buy crack.
- Your mugger is sleeping in their own bed (remember to climb in through the window) and is mugging you for crack.
- Your mugger is bound by the wrists in the trunk of your car and he is mugging you because he needs crack.
Person 1: I heard it was your grandma's 100th birthday today. How did that go?
Person 2: She tried mugging me to buy crack so I used what I learned from Self Defense and pulled out my gun.
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4.
The skills you need to master and use to protect yourself from home invasion, robbery, or other personal attack by greasy haired Pachucos, Crips, Bloods, and other criminals.
If you want protect yourself from attacks by Pachucos and other criminals, you have to learn self defense.
Liberals call Self Defense "taking the law into your own hands." They do not want people to defend themselves against criminals.
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