What is Sergeant Snuggles?
1.
A person who horny military men fantasize about. This occurs often when these soldiers are on long bouts of duty and need comforting thoughts. They are known to daydream about Sergeant Snuggles naked (typically performing sexual acts). This is partly due to loneliness and partly due to desperation (also extreme homosexuality plays a significant roll). The most commonly occurring fantasy is when a soldier imagines himself as a new recruit whom is trapped in a foxhole with the Sergeant and than is ordered to perform sexual acts. They in turn perform the acts and then proceed to cuddle through the long, cold night in the Sergeant's arms. It is also notable to say that their is a real life Sergeant this “Sergeant Snuggles” got named after. He is on active duty in North Carolina and currently dating a fellow Marine.
1. While Private Putz was sleeping some bunk mates observed him softly murmuring the name Sergeant Snuggles. They witnessed him saying in his slumber "Oh Sergeant, order me to do 100 push ups on Mr. Missile...". When awakened Private Putz quickly denied having wet dreams about the infamous Sergeant yet his bunk mates noticed that he had an erection and what appeared to be a small stain on his pants.
2. Private Putz was spotted exiting the barracks of Sergeant Snuggles early Saturday morning. The Private has always thought of Sergeant Snuggles as being "dreamy" yet denied it but now after witnessing him perform the "walk of shame" it is known to be true. When questioned about his sleepover with the Sergeant he exclaimed "I can't deny it anymore! I love Sergeant Snuggles! He holds me and won’t let me go like a prisoner in Guantanamo Bay. When he spoons me in his top bunk I feel so warm and cozy. If I get sent away to war it will be his love letters that keep me going!...” Then he started crying and continued on. “He's bombed my ass more than desert storm and has enlisted in my heart for life!" Private Putz was then awarded the Purple Penis for his bravery in telling such an embarrassing tale. Although Private Putz has since left the Marines he still maintains a long distance relationship with his beloved Sergeant.
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