What is Shardage?
1.
happens after you take a wet shit and don't wipe properly. The overlooked dirt soon dries and feels like shards of glass in your anal cavity. Walking feels like hell and requires much re-adjustment.
shardage is commonly mistaken for torn asshole, which occurs after a poop is too large to fit through your butt at its normal size or after anal sex (ouch and very gay). also mistaken for fire-ass, which occurs after diarrhea and your butthole's exposure to acid
two kids while on a tour of the Musuem of Natural Science:
Kid 1: "Hey, stop pulling at your ass.
Kid 2: "Man I gots da shardage cuz I didn't have enough time to wipe this morning."
Kid 1: "Oooo. Are you sure that wasn't cuz of my dick in yo butthole last night."
Kid 2: "No. Yours is too small for this kind of damage."
See