Shitwink

What is Shitwink?


1.

A mentally impaired, transcendentally abrasive and pusillanimous white male of college age. Frequently intoxicated, boisterous and devoid of all social graces, a shitwink commonly (though not invariably) sports birdshit hair: that is, a heavily gelled, purposefully mussed coiffure, à la mode moderne. His physiognomy is distinctive: dull, vacant eyes coupled with a perpetual, rodentine snarl. In general bearing, his countenance has been likened to that of an "oily child molester" or a "closeted, men's room-haunting frot." His repertoire of vocalizations is limited; moreover, he is seldom heard unless in the presence of other shitwinks, in whose company he freely uses such standard calls as "beer me," "wooo yeah," and " aight." Nocturnal rounds of bestial yelping are also reported--apparently intended as a territorial "warning" to non-shitwinks. Beyond issuing social and territorial vocalizations, the shitwink's time is chiefly invested in the following three activities: 1.) imbibing alcohol; 2.) harassing his peaceable neighbors (an activity pursued only from within the safety of a shitpack and often under cover of darkness); and 3.) lording it over his shitbitch. When alone and exposed to daylight they are timid, quavering creatures. Commonly abbreviated "wink." Cf. "Shitneck"

"Hey, Bill, ain't that a shitwink?"

"Yeah, Melchizedek, that fellow is a shitwink."

"Please hand me that blade, Bill."

"Why, Mechizedek?"

"I'm gonna shank that facking'wink!"

"Oh! Oh! May I please narc him with this rusty, jagged shiv--by way of a coup de grace?"

"Yes, you may, Bill."

See shitbitch, shitneck, shitpack, wink


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