What is Silent Football?
1.
A game played mainly by men. People sit in a circle and follow a strict code of rules. There are many rules and defining them here is in essence, against the rules. The game is lost by accumulating the most points. The loser usually must complete a task decided by the other players of the game.
After playing a game of SF mike had to strip and start singing.
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2.
A game with a very strict set of rules. It is ran by Mr. Dick Tater. Players may call him any variation of the words dick, and potato. The game is started with the customary tip-of-the-hat, and the customary shaloob. The ball is then put in play by Mr. Tallywhacker Beerfries. Players may "thwap", by slapping their thighs in the direction they wish to send the ball. Players may not alter the direction of the thwapping. Players may also "Zoom" by making eye-contact with another player, and pointing their elbow at the player. Players cannot "thwap a thwap thwap", or Use a thwap three times in rapid succession, unless it is all done by one player, before anyone else has thwapped. This also goes for Zooming. Players must raise their hand and be called on by Mr. Penis Potato. All players must address each other with the Title of Mr. or Ms.. Players may not use any pronouns. The breaking of any rules is rewarded with Penance points. The player with the most penance points at the end of the game "wins" and must do a dare.
Paul: Hey, lets play silent football!
Group: HELL YEAH! I'm sick of contact.
Paul: I call Dick-tater. Customary tip of the hat!
Group: customary tip of the hat
Paul: Customary shaloob
Group: Customary shaloob
Paul: The ball is now in play, all rules are now in effect.
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3.
The second best game in the world. Played when there's too much food on backpacking trips. The players adhere to an extremely strict set of rules, and when a rule is broken, other players ask the Duke or Duchess if they may speak, and when granted permission, they state who they think has broken the rule. The Duke or Duchess then decides if they should recieve penance, in other words, extra food. It's pretty awesome.
"We have way too much food and no one wants to eat it. Looks like we're going to have to play Silent Football."
*the game ensues..*
"Lady Duchess Lauren with the Long Lingering Locks of the Lost Coast, may I speak?"
"Yes, Lady Sonia, you may."
"I believe that Lord Dave was blaming his own flatulence problems on my person."
"I agree, and for that he shall recieve penance."
(Everyone is greatly amused, and Dave gets another bowl of the nasty rice and chili mix)
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