What is Slow Jerk?
1.
A long session of jerking off. Typically, the very slow relaxed stroking of the penis until ejaculation. Very intense orgasms are to be expected.
After work Greg had some time to himself so he embarked on a 2 hour slow jerk.
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2.
A phrase used when something turns you off. Instead of being able to quickly beat it, your jerk gets slowed down because of a stupid comment or disgusting premise. Akin to an "eye roll" and often accompanied by a slow, masturbatory gesture.
Girlfriend: "We should totally see the Nutcracker when it comes to town!"
Me: "Ugh, slow jerk"
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3.
A slow jerk is the term used when you think something is lame or stupid. It is usually accompanied by a slow jerking off motion.
Brianna: Sweetie, lets watch that new lifetime movie I saw an ad for!!
Rick: (while doing a slow jack off motion) Oh.. oh... Oh yeah.... what a slow jerk....
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4.
When you are beating the meat, weedwacking, or any other variation of jacking off, and are about to bust but feel that the time is not right, or it is too early. Therefore you slow down to prevent the early yogurt shot and continue once the penis has calmed down slightly.
I had to slow jerk last night to prevent my premature busting problem.
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5.
(n): One who is mentally handicapped or otherwise impaired, and also possesses little empathy towards his or her fellow human being.
Also called a "mean retard" by other jerks who are not as slow and naturally feel superior because of it.
"That Tourette's Guy on YouTube is such a slow jerk."
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