Smashmatic 4000

What is Smashmatic 4000?

1.

A machine that only crushes cars that Yuppies drive. Will not accept cars that are sweet and are driven by Bad-Asses. Invented by John Champlain while channeling information from the planet Febulonious. Replaced the Smashmatic 3000 which although bad ass and sweet was in fact crushed by the Smashmatic 4000.

Redneck 1: Godamnit! Why won't the Smashmatic 4000 crush my late model Buick Riviera!?

Redneck 2: It's too bad ass. Here, try feeding it this Chevy Cobalt.

Redneck 1: Damn your right, I bet he'll eat a Ford Fusion too!

Redneck2: Yep, but let him enjoy the Cobalt, and hey he doesn't really like to be watched while he's crushing.

Redneck 1: ::turns away::

See omniplex, chief, captain, Dahn
4

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