What is Smidjulum?
1.
Smidjulum
Smidjulum….Noun….it is the residue that forms between your toes(primary definition)Smidjulum as a substance ca be found on a body anywhere there is skin to skin contact. Buttocks (with bum hair…could cause knotting) belly button, armpits….etc…
Smidjulum primarily occurs as a natural function as the body sheds its skin cells, it is especially attracted to lint, fuzz, and pubic hair, and any of your fingers used as probes.
Fortunately having more that ones fair share of Smidjulum is not as of yet a crime, but it usually accompanied by a lack of hygiene, and loneliness, and avoidance from the clerk at the shoe store.
While there is no medical treatment for acute Smidjulum, a daily regiment of bathing can all but eradicate Smidjulum, but you will probably still be a looser just the same.
Background:
I first became aware of Smidjulum when I was 15, about 21 years ago. Those glorious days of teenage love and experimentation aaaahhhhhh.
I was sucking on my girlfriends toes, and this foul foreign substance not only assaulted my taste buds, but attacked my olfactory senses, it was rude. But what could I say…mention cheese, and I would quickly find myself in dry land, instead of pie land.
From that moment forward it became one of my life’s goals to bring awareness and acceptance in regards to our exfoliated shin.
Today is a big leap; we are going to name the beast! Smidjulum...help me to help others overcome their gross habit of wearing tennis shoes without socks, wearing the same pair of underwear far past their expiration date, or my poor uncle Bruno who refuses to give up his cotton undershirt in June. (Cotton multiplies the strength of Smidjulum)
Thanks for your kind concern…and please be careful, and when you broach the topic of Smidjulum please do so with a certain amount of decorum…..you never know who’s packin more than their fair share of Smidjulum.
Use in sentence. At play;
"I am sorry Jimmy, you can’t participate in gymnastics class until you chip, scrape, or wash the Smidjulum from between your toes"
At work;
“Doris I am afraid you will no longer be getting calls to model foot ware as the odor from your Smidjulum made the camera man nauseous”
In the bed room:
“Phil, I cant perform fellatio on you until you remove the Smidjulum from between your scrotum and thigh”
Source: Jon Ham, The great white north Canada...eh?
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