Sorts Edit Meaning

1.

A nightmarish, coded, machine-read Naval message that is supposed to be a real-time methodology for reporting overall operational readiness to a vindictive and hateful computer in Washington D.C. that seizes upon a single minute error and then flames your commanding officer who then shits in your garrison hat.

I'd rather be in charge of the Combined Federal Campaign at the Norfolk Naval Brig and have a bleeding prostate the size of grapefruit than be the SORTS officer.