What is South Plainfield?
1.
A town in Central Jersey known for producing wrestlers, landscapers and alcoholics. Known affectionately to its inhabitants as "SP",its population is close-knit(and closely related)to each other and don't like outsiders, especially from its shady neighbors. It's economy is based on the chemical, trucking and landscaping industries, while the local government is run by a classic, old-fashioned, and corrupt Irish-Italian Democratic Party machine that caters to crooked developers that put up $600K houses with no yards. Some of its better-known tourist attractions are its world-class Superfund sites, Spring Lake Park (Aka Geese Shit Park), an attack helicopter with shark teeth, the downtown Hair and Nails District, the Labor Day Parade, and North America's only haunted go-go bar, Liquid Assets. Assuming someone from SP is from Plainfield, Edison, Dunellen or several other nearby towns is cause for an immediate ass whoopin'or verbal destruction by the native inhabitants, who rely on booze and insulting comments for strength and survival. Most of these inhabitants are of Italian, Polish, and Irish descent or some combination of the three. Blacks, though in stronger numbers in nearby Plainfield and Piscataway, inhabit the area around Edgar Ave while Hispanics occupy most rental homes throughout the Boro and Indians are sporadically dispersed, 15+ to a house, around town but are prominent business owners commuting in down the Oak Tree Corridor from North Edison and Iselin. Minorities beware driving through, because you will get pulled over for a petty offense like going 28 in a 25. You will find some of the Boro's most prominent citizens walking around, sometimes talking to themselves and usually drunk, at most hours of the day and night due to a lifetime of drunk driving or retardation. Amongst these colorful characters are Allan "Big Al" Abbot, Herbie the Happy Retard, "Pint of Leeds Leon", and Peaches. It is also home to the largest flocks of Canada geese outside Canada that do a great job shitting up the place and causing traffic along the main thoroughfares.
How many times do I gotta tell you mulignons to stay the fuck out of South Plainfield? You're on the wrong end of Park Ave, son.
Asshole 1: The park in South Plainfield had a black ooze coming out of the ground
Asshole 2: I know, you could see it all floating in the lake.
Asshole 1: No, not that park the other one. That's just geese shit you saw in that one.
Exit 3
Durham Ave.
South Plainfield
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