What is Southampton Chandler?
1.
A technique for courtship practiced on the South Coast (usually in a nightclub, but can also be effective in libraries and hospitals). The maneouvre begins by working oneself into a unholy sweat, sauna's may be used, however the purists shun this frivilous aid.
Next the participant (using a feminine alias, such as Justin or Miranda) must choose his target and incessantly annoy them with a socially inept dogma - this can result in a 'pull'.
If the distinctly average looking target (gender unspecified) can be lured to a bedroom, the ritual mating will begin. This usually lasts for about 15 minutes or until the 'gurning fuck lizard' is so 'gunked up' her tears taste salty. Real Salty.
Illegal in most civilised worlds.
Justin: You know I created the Southampton Chandler
Girl: Get the fuck away from me, you depraved, red, sweaty fuck.
Justin: I'll put you down as a maybe.
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