Spadget

What is Spadget?


1.

spadget (spad jet) NOUN. A surprising little gadget or creature.

Bro- Yaah! What the Hell!? A little animaljust grabbed my ankle!

Sis- I see you met our Spadget.

Bro- He came out of nowhere!

Sis- That is his way.

Bro- Where'd he go?

Sis- One does not question the ways of the Spadget.

Bro- Why are you talking that way?

Sis- What way am I talking?

Bro- Like everything is some big mystical experience.

Sis- Oh. Sorry. It's just the way we talk about him here.

Bro- WHY?

Sis- We don't know where he came from, where he goes to sleep, what he eats, or if he's feralor somebody's pet that went wild.

Bro- Fucking thing could have rabies. Am I bleeding?

Sis- No.

Bro- You didn't even look!

Sis- He never breaks the skin.

Bro- Well, he's not wild, then. That's good.

Sis- We tried to catch him to take him to a vet to get him his vaccinations. Every time, we'd come out in the morning to find the bait gone and the trap empty.

Bro- Cool! So he's smart.

Sis- He's a furrylittle Einstein.

Bro- C'mere... Come here, little guy... Spadget... Spadgie-wadgie...

Sis- Oh, he doesn't come when you call.

Bro- Here, Spadgie... here boy... Want some beef jerky?

Sis- He's not going to come. He doesn't know you're calling his name... Oh my... what the fuck?

Bro- What a GOOD BOYYY...

Sis- Oh my gaw... WE HAVE BEEN OFFERING HIM ALL KINDS OF FOOD FOR THREE YEARS! And you've got him eating out of your hand!

Bro- Did you try beef jerky?

Sis- Yes, we tried EVERYTHING.

Bro- Even teriyaki flavor? Oh look, he likes having his belly scratched.

Sis- He's never even let me touch him! He never lets ANYONE touch him!

Bro- He's making little trilling sounds. Shhh. I think he's falling asleep.

Sis- I don't believe it. How did you get him to come out?

Bro- One does not question the ways of The Spadget.

Sis- Asshole.

See ferret, muskrat, marmot, aardvark, raccoon, critter, varmint, vermin, varmit, armadillo, fox, bat, boojum, hedgehog, cat, dog, rabbit, polecat, otter, jerboa, parrot, toad, squirrel, frog, chinchilla, hamster, chipmunk, turtle, echidna, wombat, goat, platypus, flying squirrel, wallaby, bandicoot, klipspringer, snark, koala, mouse, tortoise, mongoose, lemur, dormouse, rat, weasel, snake, gerbil, lizard, vole, shrew, numbat, seal


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