What is Speedskating?
1.
The act of calling up an elderly woman in the pursuit of oral pleasure, and then following up by taberknackling the phone and the elderly woman's pet gerbal. This can be done (in the case the speedskater is gay) to an elderly man as well.
Robby: "I just speedskated Old Lady Gertrude down the street. You wouldn't believe how good old lady gums and gerbal fur feels on your nuts."
Casey: "Gee wizz...I can't wait til I can speedskate my gramma!"
See
