What is Splash Guard?
1.
A roll of fat on a female's stomach that prevents a male's sperm from splashing her in the face when he removes his penis from her vagina just prior to ejaculation.
That bitch is lucky she had a splash guard because if she didn't my load would've caused her to drown.
See
2.
when wearing glasses while performing oral sex to prevent crustaceous eyelids.
i bought your girlfriend some splash guards.
