Splitzer

What is Splitzer?


1.

A high-spirited clitoris: effectively like a stimulating spritzer, continually effervescing in the pantry upon which a lady sits.

"It's the liveliest bit in a lady's split, sir!" as the legendary Countess of Dorking would frequently point out to students of country matters.

With its stiffening bud splitting the pod and forcing the pink petals open, the Splitzer is the supremely vital twig on the bush of life. It is a lady's principal source of satisfaction and carnalrefreshment.

Deprived of this iconic inch, which has been named and acclaimed ever since Eve found it growing under her fig-leaf in the Garden of Eden, a lady would be entitled to enquire "Where is the pleasure point in life?"

Lifting the lid on her box of delights, and taking centre-stage, this Wimborne wonder may also be found performing under these names: knicker-sprite, Poughkeepsie pickle, gusset gherkin, pantry veg, apt parsnip, split pea, lentil of love, cocktail cherry.

See split, slit, spritzer, spritely, chuzzlewit, beaver-spit, boxing the bud, chairwoman, herstory, icon, inch, named and acclaimed, pink, pod, twig, lid, source, satisfaction, pantry, veggie, apt, parsnip, country matters, Persson


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