What is Spooky Cactus?
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A half-demon creature, created when the soul of an ancient cactus-demon from the days of plant-worship inhabits the body of a human in the here-and-now. There is only one confirmed spooky cactus in existence, believed to be hidden in the north of England. From the careful analysis of this one isolated case, we have discovered that spooky cacti are blunt, cynical, sarcastic and taunt humankind for kicks.
'The spooky cactus had awoken, and was glaring with an uncertain cactical fury at the toaster, which she could not quite decided whether or not to make the victim of flaming spiny cactuslike wrath.'
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Furlong the forteenth is the ruler of all that is was and will be. With the exception of the "holy shig"
"I, Furlong XIV..
