What is Squornshellous System?


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Squornshellous System

Squornshellous System is a four-star system 27 light-years from earth.

Squornshellous Alpha The first planet in from the four-star system Squornshellous, it is very cold and inhabited by giant, burrowing mattresses that spit acid.

Squornshellous Beta Two planets in from Squornshellous Zeta, it is inhabited by square cushions whom enjoy being rubbed up against, especially with people's shoulders. Unlike Squornshellous Zeta, it has desert terrain rather than swamps.

Squornshellous Delta The second planet in between Squornshellous Zeta and Beta, it is inhabited by flying pillows--there is no solid ground but only infinite clouds.

Squornshellous Gamma Squornshellous Gamma is a quite, hot, bumpy little planet, with a thick, dense atmosphere. Probably the worst place to crash, because communication to other planets is impossible, due to the thick atmosphere, and the rain is solid. The 12' by 9' cushions have only a five-second memory--they'll ask you who you are first, then who they are next, and, needless to say, most people die of annoyance within an hour.

Squornshellous Zeta Dimly illuminated and very very swamp-intensive, Squornshellous Zeta is the source of almost all the Galaxy's mattresses. Said mattresses (all of which are called Zem) spend most of their time flolloping, globbering, volluing, and vooning. Said activities make the planet a favourite destination of etymologists. The Zem themselves remain a foot tall, until they are freeze-dryed and cleaned, and made into mattress-size corpses (which are promptly used as mattresses). It is a process which, strangely enough, they don't seem to mind at all.

Marvin the Paranoid Android was invited to the planet to give a speech marking the opening of a giant new bridge intended to revive the economy of the Squornshellous System, said bridge also costing the total sum of the economy of the entire planet to create and the whole ceremony ended in tears. Marvin was plugged into the bridge and the whole cyberstructure instantly folded itself up and collapsed (presumably after being directly exposed to Marvin's chronically depressed view of the Universe). Marvin was left stranded in the swamp with only the mattresses to talk to, until robots from Krikkit stole his leg, and then the rest of him.

Marvin got stuck in the squornshellous system, in squornshellous zeta.

See system


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