St. Bernardine

What is St. Bernardine?


1.

A catholic school in Forest Park that resembles a Southern slave encampment in the 1800s. Kids have gym class once a week, and in a lunch room, although the last principal turned down the offer to construct a new gym sponsored by the candy company across the street. The gym wasn't built because there would be a small sign for Ferrara Pan Co. in it. Tons of advertisements line the church, school, folders with graded papers, even on windows, and what difference did the sign make? The company is across the street anyway.

The faculty teach false information, lack teaching skills, and some try injecting preschoolers' arms with AIDS infected needles, because they could not afford new ones.

The gym teacher abuses students, the lunch lady looks like an Oompa Loompa and a mountain troll had sex and she was the result, and they both have secret meetings behind everyone elses' backs. The school has a very poor curriculum and deep lack of funding, although the hundred thousand dollars they received last year was not enough, and are still in debt.

Children are also forced to do at least ten hours of child labor against their will to leave the school.

"Oh God, I'd rather go to a concentration camp than to St. Bernardine!"

"But dude, you're Jewish!"

"What's your point?"


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