St. Louis

What is St. Louis?


1.

While not technically the largest city in Missouri (that honor belongs to Kansas City, due to some creative annexing and stupidity on St. Louis' part), the entire area's a lot bigger and more influential. Home to Budweiser, the St. Louis Cardinals and the Gateway Arch, this city of roughly 2.8 million people also has some good music, good food and weird customs. It's pretty much Boston-on-the-Mississippi: mostly Catholic, very insular, loves baseballa little too much, has an inferiority complex (here it's with Chicago) that we take out through baseball. It's got a lot of bad points, too: we live too much in the past, we've deluded ourselves into thinking we're either still really important or just a "big small town", and we can't support a football team worth a damn. Overall, it's a very Midwestern city: misunderstood and a little weird.

"Where did you go to high school?"--If you can't answer this question with something an average person born in St. Louis can understand, you're fucked. Seriously.

See missouri, arch, hoosier

2.

The best friggin city in the entire United States, if not the world. It features great cuisine, amazing people, and awesome schools. Among its more famous attributes is the Gateway to the West, aka the Arch; as well as Forest Park, the St. Louis Zoo, Six Flags St. Louis, and we are also the hometown of Busch beer. It is also the well-loved home to the Cards, Rams, and Blues. Also, the people of St. Louis know that there is no "r" in wash, which just makes them cool.

Random person: "Where are you from?"

STL person: "St. Louis"

Random person: "Wow! That's so cool! That city's awesome."

See not, to, with, any, other

3.

The Greater St. Louis Area is the only urbanized area in the state of Missouri. (NOT MIZ-UR-AH!) There are NO farms in the area short of the tourist-y places like Grant's Farm, but even that is at least a fifteen min. drive from the city. Essentially, the entire Jewish population of Missouri lives in the suburbs of St. Louis and surrounding areas like University City,(aka U City, or Jew City.) Once you are half and hour's drive from St. Louis, the trailers get bigger, the trucks get bigger, and the people get bigger, and congratulations, you're officially in MIZ-UR-AH, the redneck part of the state.

You Know You're From Miz-ur-ah When...

-Everyone in your family has been on a "Float trip."

-"Vacation" means driving to Silver Dollar City, Worlds of Fun or Six Flags.

-Down south to you means Arkansas.

-The phrase, "I'm going to the Lake this weekend," can mean only one thing.

-You know what "Party Cove" is.

-You think Missouri is pronounced with an "ah" at the end.

-You know in your heart that Mizzou can beat Nebraska in football.

-You think I-44 is spelled "foarty-foar." (St. Louis Only)

-You'll pay for your kids to go to college unless they want to go to KU.

-You know that Concordia is halfway between Kansas City and Columbia, and Columbia is halfway between St. Louis and Kansas City, and Warrenton outlet mall is halfway between Columbia and St. Louis.

-You can't think of anything better than sitting on the porch in the middle of the summer during a thunderstorm.

-You know that Harry S. Truman, Walt Disney and Mark Twain are all from Missouri.

-You know what "cow tipping" or "Possum Kicking" is.

-You think "frog gigging" should be an Olympic sport.

-You think Imo's is larger than Pizza Hut.

-You can tell the difference between a horse and a cow from a distance.

-You don't put too much effort into hairstyles due to wind and weather.

-There's a tornado warning and the whole town is outside watching for it.

-The local gas station sells live bait.

-Little smokies are something you serve on special occasions.

-All your radio preset buttons are country.

-You know enough to get your driving done early on Sundays before the Sunday drivers come out.

-You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Missouri.

See stl, missouri, rednecks

4.

1. A big city in Missouri on the Mississippi River that's Home of Cardinals (MLB), Rams (NFL), and Blues(NHL).

2. An awesome city with a nice skyline thanks to the Gateway Arch.

3. Home to a large Bosnian population.

4. Also Known As STL, the Louie, the L.

5. A city with one of the highest crime rates in the US.

6. Hometown of Nelly, Chingy, Jibbs & J-Kwon.

7. The most badass home town you can have!

I'm from St. Louis, the city with the steel arch.

See stl, nellyville

5.

A place that only people who are NOT "native St. Louisans" are able to recognize as the corner of hell it truly is. The delusional hicks who were born and bred there like to imagine themselves being at the very center of the universe. If only these obese morons weren't so lazy they'd realize how pathetic it really is.

Aside from a halfway decent yet obscure university (WashU), a mega piss-factory (Budweiser) and a great baseball team (Cardinals), there is nothing to recommend this place. Unless, of course, you happen to have a thing for ugly women, in which case St. Louis is just the perfect town for you.

See stl, estl

6.

St. Louis

The Greater St. Louis Area is the only urbanized area in the state of Missouri. (NOT MIZ-UR-AH!) There are NO farms in the area short of the tourist-y places like Grant's Farm, but even that is at least a fifteen min. drive from the city. Essentially, the entire Jewish population of Missouri lives in the suburbs of St. Louis and surrounding areas like University City,(aka U City, or Jew City.) Once you are half and hour's drive from St. Louis, the trailers get bigger, the trucks get bigger, and the people get bigger, and congratulations, you're officially in MIZ-UR-AH, the redneck part of the state.

Stupid St. Louis Laws

-It's illegal to sit on the curb of any city street and drink beer from a bucket. This law refers back to the extinct Italian celebration, Hill Day, when beer was served in buckets.

-A milk man may not run while on duty.

See missouri, stl

7.

A corrupt, dirty, midwestern city on the border of illinois that has one of the highest crime, theft, obesity and std rates in the country, has one of the lowest literacy rates and is still stuck in 1960's. Thier only claims to fame are the arch, a retarted knockoff of horseshoes called washers (prounounced warschers) and toasted ravioli. Almost 95% of guys in st. louis are pink polo shirt wearing, collar poppin, wanna be frat boy douschebags. About the same percentage of girls only care about what you drive and how much money you make. Everyone in St. Louis thinks they know each other so you will be constantly asked where you went to high school and who you know and hang out with. Also you will be judged on where you grew up or which part of town you live in. West= posh and stuck up SOUTH= white trash EAST and North= ghetto. Also the word ignorant is used no stop and no one really knows what it means. ex...

Person A: Wanna go to boogaloo and get a drink?

Person B: Boogaloo! hell no that place is ignorant.

Also the weather is humid in the summer and cold in the winter. St. Louis also has a scary insect problem (espically cockroaches. If your planning to look for good bears in St. Louis your screwed. They only have 1 mediocre brewery called schlafly, and other than that it's all budweiser. If you go about 1/2 hour anywhere outside the city limits your in the country and can visit renouned places like Bob's one stop which sells boats, propane, alchohol and guns, and hang out with pregnant ladies with mullets wearing camoflage

St. Louis missourah


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