What is St. Margaret's?
1.
St. Margaret's is a small, all-girls boarding school locared in Tappahannock, VA. It is too strict to be a real prep school yet not strict enough to be a military school. St. Margaret's accepts anyone with an open wallet and has a reputation for teaching fuckups and retards better study skills. Some SMS teachers are really awesome, but some have obvious favorites. St. Margaret's girls do not get into good colleges, like most kids from prep schools. They attend shitty colleges like Bridgewater, Roanoke, Lynchburg, Sweet Briar, and Longwood. Despite its bad qualities, including a large population of lesbains, the school does have some good things about it. It teaches girls to better manage their time and how to prioritize, and since the sports teams are a joke, it is much easier to letter in varsity sports than it would be at a real private school. SMS also has a "resource" known as Teacher Available, or TA. TA is total bullshit. Everyone hates this period of the academic day when they are supposed to go get help from a teacher. If a student chooses to get fucked over by St. Margaret's, their life will suck and they'll end up working some shitty job after attending a mediocore university. However, if a student makes the best of her SMS experience and does not allow herself to be brainwashed by the college guidance department (which consists of one person), then she will be set for the future and will be grateful for what St. Margaret's did for her. SMS can be a great, life-changing experience, or, if a girl chooses not to work or care about school, a not-so-good one. It can go either way.
St. Margaret's student 1: Did you try out for volleyball?
SMS student 2: Dude, I didn't need to. I signed up.
SMS student: What college are you going to?
Other student: I can't decide between Sweet Briar or Hollins.
Girl 1: I applied to boarding schools and decided on Hotchkiss, it seems super legit! Where are you going in the fall?
Girl 2: Well, I got rejected by all of the real boarding schools, so I applied to St. Margaret's in the middle of July, since they have rolling admission. They sent me an acceptance letter filled with confetti immediately. Have fun at a real school.
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2.
The epitome of trashy. Especially known for their lack of eloquent speech, fine clothing, and most of all class. Ghetto bitches that engage in dance-offs to musical masterpieces, such as "Goodies" or "Baby Got Back," to embarass themselves. They are girls that can be seen in Wall-Mart's stylish clothing and wearing Target's fakest bling. Girls that utilize unconventional objects, like handbags, as weapons to show who's really "the baddest bitch." They also can be seen rubbing their ass all over other girls.
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St. Margaret's Bitch: What da fuck is this muzic? This ain't Sisqo or Sir-Mix-A lot?
Me: Yeah, this is Nirvana.
St. Margaret's Bitch: What da fuck?? Nirv--whaa? How am I supposed to back my ass up all over other girls to this shiat. I'ma gonna have to get my posse and start beatin' them bitches up with our purses. We is gonna blind those bitches with our plastic diamonds, don't be fooled by the rocks that we got!
Me: Nothing says class like assaulting someone with your purse and/or ass to the beat of the "Thong Song."
3.
An imitation prep school. It's out in the middle of nowhere (I'm a day student, so I live in the boonies too and shouldn't really make fun of this...but I'm going to anyway...Really, a school for rich preppy bitches has no place in a rural setting where the native demographic is an even ratio of poor black people and poor redneck hicks, including me and all my kin) and half the student body has been kicked out of a real prep school somewhere else. SMS fucked me over too many times but I still hung on b/c I thought it would look bad to transfer in the middle of my high school career -- now I'm paying for that decision, since everything I ever worked for is completely shot to hell. Thank you, SMS, for screwing up my college plans and destroying my peace of mind. To everyone else: NEVER LET YOUR LOVED ONES ENROLL AT SMS!!!
New SMS student: Our mascot is a Scottie Dog?! The people in charge here must be idiots.
Returning SMS student: Yeah pretty much.
