What is State Job?
1.
Being employed to provide a public service at half the cost of a private contractor while being criticized by citizens who's grasp of the inner workings of state government entails the 45 minutes they wait in line to get their drivers license renewed.
Man, the worst thing about having this state job is being bashed by high school dropouts jealous of my 5 figure income.
2.
Synonymous with dying in a really embarrassing way, such as accidentally choking yourself with your belt while masturbating, or impaling yourself on a broomstick during homosexual shenanigans. Only worse.
Guy 1:"Whatever happened to that crackhead Jim?"
Guy 2:"I heard he got a state job."
Guy 1:"Oh man, that's too bad."
3.
A profession for otherwise unemployable losers where 37.5 hours is a full week even though it is more like 32 hours a week after the three required 20 minute smoke/coffee breaks a day. Here "work" is an oxymoron as most of accomplishments come from outside contractors or new employees who haven’t "learned the ropes".
This state job rocks! I don’t do shit and taxpayers pay me a 5 figure salary. Even if they found out what a loser I am they can’t even fire me.
4.
Being employed to sit around and accomplish little to nothing, the rare time you actually show up to work.
"Man this state job is so easy, even though I was late to work today it didn't matter, my boss was all hung over and watching reruns of Dukes of Hazard on his small black and white tv"
5.
1.) Gets 20 breaks a day
2.) Has a good relashanship with the donut guy
3.) Is the most rested person in town.
4.)Knows all the places to hid from the supervisor.
1.)My neighbor who works as a police officer makes sure to check his mail three times a day and he keeps his driveway warm with his police SUV. Everyday around three I see him at the party store scratching lotto tickets.
2.)Towns Person- Officer someone just robbed the bank! Officer- Well what are you doing sitting around get him you know this is my coffee break!
