What is Taking Matters Into Your Own Hands?

1.

Masturbating

Choking the chicken

Beating the bishop

Slap boxing the one-eyed champ

Holding your sausage hostage

Squeezing the cream from the flesh twinkie

Having a date with Pam and her five friends

Having a tug-o-war with the cyclops

"the five finger knuckle shuffle on the one-eyed, blue-veined, purple-headed, custard-chucking, salty yogurt slinger."

"Mary rejecting him for sex once again, Larry had to take matters into his own hands."
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Niche Piece
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