What is Tarquill?
A skillful social chameleon who unfortunately lacks any form of communication skills. Tarquills can be found in many bars throughout the world. Distinguished from other humans by their behaviour they can normally be found sidling up to a medium or large group of friends and without communicating directly with the members, they appear to the rest of the bar to be one of the group. In this way they can effectively disguise themselves and perform their normal behaviour of nursing one beer throughout the entire evening.
On rare occasions they can be found performing the tarquill mating dance. This is only speculation as it has never been observed to actually work. The dance involves the tarquill repeatedly moving moving one bodily appendage at a time in some sort or rhythm together with the ambient local noise and finished by a "special move". For example a repeating tapping foot followed by a repeating nodding head followed by a one fingered hand point.
Tarquills are difficult for the untrained eye to detect and are most commonly observed looking gormless in the background of photos taken the night before.
Check out that tarquill over there.
Watch out mate, you're being tarquilled!