Tea

What is Tea?


1.

A drug stereotypically popular in England. Comes from India or China. Sold in brightly coloured boxes advertising its healthy properties. Highly addictive. Massive advertising campaigns on TV and billboards.

Responsible for the Britiah Empire, but superceded by coffee in the American Empire, due to coffee's more intense hit. Universally drunk by English people.

The best way to drink it is in a mug, with milk and two sugars. Some people only have one, but that's just being in denial. Two sugars or none, that's my motto. Or even worse, one and a half. Come on, who are you fooling? Some people get really kinky and drink it BLACK. NO milk, NO sugar, NO hope. No way. Simply Wrong.

I would recommend undertaking tea addiction. Luckily it is available at every corner store, at very reasonable prices. You may have seen adverts on TV, e.g. "Yorkshire Tea.. the way tea USED to be." Yeah, back in the days before the evil American Empire. When it was the British Empire instead.Tea is one of the best things ever, I love it. I'm drinking it now.

"Put the kettle on!"

"How many sugars?"

"How do you take it?" (smirk)

"Don't drink that stuff, it's addictive." - actually, nobody ever says that.

2.

A british obsession

Us brits have more words for tea than eskimos have for snow.

Tea, char, brew, rosey, cuppa.... the list really is endless.

See black flag

3.

The Elixir of life. No greater destiny can be known by any leaf than this: that it should lay down its life as an infusion.

The British nation consumes a larger volume of water each day in tea than in every other domestic soft drink put together, including drinking water straight.

When they say we are a nation of tea drinkers, they're not taking the pee. (Although thanks to the diuretic properties of tea, shortly afterwards, most of us are.)

Brit 1: Fancy a cuppa?

Brit 2: Erm, what time is it?

Brit 1: 11:15.

Brit 2: Give me five minutes, I've just got to pee out the 10:30.

<vanishes, and promptly reappears looking happy.>

Brit 2: Bring it on. Milk, two sugars, and put it in a mug, not one of those girlie cups on saucers. Think Man Tea.

See tea, tea bitch, teabitch, teatime, tee, tetley, beverage

4.

A slang term used by Jack Kerouac and the Beats when refering to marijuana, seen in Kerouac's novel On the Road.

"Ask him if we can get any tea. Hey kid, you got ma-ree-wa-na?"

See tea, t, marijuana, pot, beat generation

5.

The Best Tasting Drink In the WHOLE World.

You should Try Some. Yes?

Justin Dosen't know what he's missing out on

because he hates tea to death. Justin You SUCK.

Tea is Best.

See tea, bag, good

6.

gossip or personal information belonging to someone else; the scoop; news

Spill the tea about what happened at the club.

See Kiwi

7.

A drink traditionally made from the tea leaf, but can be made from many different herbs and spices. The tea leaf itself comes from India.

The vast majority of tea is exported from China and India.

Highly addictive.

Many varieties, including: Black teas, white teas, green teas, oolong teas, and herbal teas.

This tea is mighty good.


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