What is Tehcannibal?
1.
TehCannibal is an unknown member of various forums and chatrooms. He is annoying, spamming, idiotic psychopath who claims he is a platypus. He tends to spam a lot, willing to make a point at his own expense in a matter that is not taken seriously. He claims he is the Ruler of the Platypus Kingdom and is the enemy of the 7 Badger colonies.
TehCannibal wields a Remington 870 shotgun loaded with ROFL bullets and a jar of orange marmalade which is said to force you to commit adultery. Every midnight on a full moon, he feasts on the delicious flesh of children and steals socks everywhere. His one true weakness is The Holy Woodchuck of Repentance, which forces him to do the Hustle all the back to the pickle jar from whence he came. He supports and promotes cannibalism, often referring to it as "The Chicken of the City" He is also the proud owner of Teddybear Junction inc., a cooperation that processes Soylent bars, Soylent Cola and other human meat-by products.
A commercial for Teddybear Junction's Frosted Soylent Flakes:
Little Boy: What's for Dinner, Mom?
Mother: Oatmeal
Little Boy: Oatmeal?! I hate oatmeal! I'm going to go emo and hide in my closet until Micheal Jackson gets me!
TehCannibal: Don't be doin that!
Little Boy: Wow! It's that guy I saw on a commercial tv once when I was watching Teletubbies and got cancer!
~TehCannibal takes out a box of cereal~
Little Boy: Wow! It's Teddybear Junction's Frosted Soylent Flakes!
Mother: Soylent? But Soylent Green is people!
~TehCannibal shoots the mother in the head~
Little Boy: It has real dead fetus marshmallows!
TehCannibal: Yer tongues can't repel flavor of that magnitude!
~Little Boy eats the cereal, voids his bowels and dies~
Teddybear Junction's Frosted Soylent Flakes, now part of a balanced death wish
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