What is Television?
1.
The early 21st century drug of choice. A shared illusion, making its addicts think they have friends, a life, access to good information, and the critical thinking skills to form valid opinions. Fatal in large doses.
Paul spent the day eating Cheetos and watching Television, then had a light heart attack in the evening.
2.
1. Opiate for the masses since the 1950's. Therby rendering them unfit both physically and mentally for any form of revolution. Rolling over on the sofa does not count as a revolution.
2. Very effective brainwashing machine.
Please repeat after me:
"I believe in television.
I believe that the TV news are true.
I believe that soap operas are true."
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3.
Mankind's greatest and worst achievement.
I looked at an educational program and then watched Pimp My Ride.
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4.
1. A device so essential to Americans that it is mentioned alongside food, water and shelter during cataclysmic tornadoes, flash floods and earthquakes. Often abbreviated as "TV" or "teevee."
2. The drug of choice for Mike Teevee, a character in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
"We had no water, no power, no TV," Lurleen Tootin of Milledgeville said. "I told my Darrell we damn near could have died."
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5.
An electronic box that sits in the corner of your living room which emits moving pictures and sound when turned on. Also
"We bought a new television yesterday."
6.
Mama's little babysitter
Tiffany, sit down and watch Blue's Clues while the weekday Daddy and I play upstairs.
7.
The electronic form of the plague.
I thought he was dead but he was just watching Television.
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