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It's like the definition for the phrase coyote ugly, except you know that the chick is gonna be looking for a one-armed man, so you..
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To masterbate in a somewhat aggressive manner, as though you're in a rush to get somewhere and you need to get off quickly.
"..
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When your Vista's:
a) Internet Explorer stops working for no apparent reason, and then your internet turns to crap for the next ap..