What is Tesco?
1.
A large British supermarket chain, notable for its incursion into almost every area of consumer products. Although the company's name is "Tesco" it is usually referred to in the possessive case "Tesco's". Often pronounced as "Tesquo" as well and thus as a contraction "The Squo".
Tesco employs the latest in mind-control technology and for this reason you will find it very difficult to spend less than around £30 there. No matter what you go in for, you will almost always spend a minimum of £30. How this is done remains a mystery.
Tesco prices are usally pretty cheap; this is due to their policy of selling products at less than they were bought for in order to underprice the competition. The long term aim is to destroy all other businesses in the area by outpricing them. Once this is achieved, and the only shop around is Tesco, then the prices go up. One day all shops will be Tesco, if this aim is achieved.
Tesco recently attempted to colonise America; this was done very secretly and quietly, to the extent that when questions were asked about what was being done with this warehouse and all this stock, they replied that they were making a movie about a supermarket!
Tesco opened 800 stores simultaneously in the US; they knew that US shoppers tend towards brand loyalty and they hoped that the sudden appearance of Tesco in many locations would persuade US shoppers that Tesco was an acceptable brand. Whether or not this strategy will succeed remains to be seen.
In short, Tesco is an evil empire; cheap prices now in order to achieve a monopoly later, mind control employed in stores to gain an average per-customer take of at least £30 per visit, and the aim of putting everyone else from small traders to supermarket competitors out of business.
"Every little helps!" - Tesco slogan
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2.
British supermarket chain that has recently shaken off its'
Let's all go to tesco's where michael buys his best clothes.
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3.
Pretty much the greatest shop in the world.
It is visited each week on a Tuesday by a motley crew of vagabonds and James Morgan where they persue the pinnacle in wheat-based products.
Keir has a bit of a thing for ciabatta.
"Eh excuse me, Tuesday is TESCO day"
4.
1. A popular and almost ubiquitous supermarket chain in Britain.
2. A form of dance music influenced by both Techno and Disco. The name is a portmanteau of these two names (Techno + Disco = Tesco)
1. I'm going to Tesco to buy some milk.
2. I'm listening to some good ol' Tesco.
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5.
the uk's premiere breeding ground for inbreds. it is disguised as a supermarket but don't let that fool you, try talking to the staff!
"excuse me, where is the fresh pasta please?"
"huh huh ummm yeah. me get supervisor (cousin, dad and sister all rolled into one). huh huh"
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6.
British supermarket chain that used to be made fun of for selling imitation brand clothing. Hence the song: "Let's all go to tescos, where
I couldn't afford real addidas sport pants, so I bought a pair of tesco two-stripe instead.
7.
A word to be used in exclamation of something really good
"Wow! You're so Tesco!"
"That's a Tesco outfit you have on Jessica..."
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