What is Tewksbury?
1.
A small suburb about 30 minutes from Boston.By far the gayest city in Massachusetts. Tewksbury borders Lowell, Billerica, Andover, and Wilmington.Market Basket is the only grocery store. The only schools here are shitty ones and arent acreddited. The town wastes its money on pointless things like watering a feild where nothing grows and building a humungous senior center. There are Dunkin Donuts pretty much on every street. The number of dance studios is ridiculous. If you are a teenager in Tewksbury, you are either a pothead, a wigger, or a prep. Tewksbury is also referred to as "T-bury". Our streets are under construction everyday. No streets are paved. The only establishments in this town are restaurantsan on entertaining yourself. I would give a longer defenition if this town was slightly interesting.
A few things you may hear in Tewksbury:
-I went to Mahket Basket next to lowell yestahday and saw Lindah from dunkin dohnuts.
-Whens the next town meeting?
-I cant buhleev im wastin' my tax dollahs.
-When are they gonna put sourage in our paht of town?
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2.
A shitty town in Massachusetts. The people constantly fill up the churches, newspapers, and stores of other towns such as Wilmington with their filthy selves. Most citizens grow up to be criminals or give birth before high school graduation and live in shitty houses in Tewksbury.
Since real estate is so high in Massachusetts, a 1 floor, 1 toilet, 4 wall house in Tewksbury costs at least 350k even though its not good enough for a homeless man.
If you ever get a blowjob from someone in Tewksbury, make sure to cum in their face and eyes and then slap and knee them repeatedly. But beware of STDs..you are bound to catch one from a Tewksbury resident.
Beware of thugs and wiggers too.
Joe: Wow, I wish a tornado would sweep through and kill everyone here.
Steve: Hey did you read the paper this morning?
Bob: No, its filled with all tewksbury news anyway.
Steve: I know, I couldn't even read about the big town fair next week since more than 5 kids in tewksbury graduated high school this year.
Harry: If there is ever a poison gas leak that infects the air, lets hope it hits tewksbury.
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3.
A small town in northern Massachusetts where people from Lowell come to buy groceries. Seriously. Have you been to the meat department at the Market Basket in Lowell recently, with their expire-next-day meat? It's fucking horrifying.
Tewksbury is also the headquarters of Market Basket's owners, which is probably why their meat department doesn't suck quite so much.
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4.
A mystical land of adventure. Usually referred to the slaying of dragons, or capturing of mythical faries. Generally relates to the story of Sir Adam rescuing Princess Emily from the Puerto Ricans and Firecrotches and Broken-Handed Football Players. It is a deepy saddenging and enlightening tale.
Sup Tewksbury.
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5.
A crunchy berry flavored cereal that tastes good with milk. see also Tewksbury Crunch.
A place in Massachusetts.
mmmm, breaksfast. Pass me a bowl of that tewksbury crunch and some milk.
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