What is The Aristocrats?
1.
Title of infamous joke without a punchline. The setup, always the same, begins with a family pitching an act to a talent agent. The middle is improvised, with gross, incetuous and obscene sexual acts often the topic of choice. The joke ends with the agent asking what the bizarre act is called, and the family replies "the aristocrats."
"That doesn't make any fucking sense. Why is 'the aristocrats' funny?"
2.
A joke known mainly among comedians. It is a joke that anyone can make their own. The joke goes as follows: A family goes to a talent agency and asks if they may perform. The talent agent asks what the act is, the family replies (this is where the presenter of the joke may put whatever he/she pleases into it. Usually very disgusting). The talent agent is shocked and asks what the act is and the family replies: The Aristocrats.
The middle is meant to be the funniest and usually involves bestiallity, necrofelia, incest, feces, urine, and other kinds of filth. I guess you could say the point of the joke is to see who can make it the most disgusting.
Heres my shot at making it truly disturbing: A family walks into a talent agency wanting to perform their act. The talent agent asks what the act is and they reply: "First my wife and I get naked and proceed to have sex, i then shit in her mouth and make her suck my dick, I then fuck her again and lick the reminents of shit and sperm off of her and spit it in her mouth. Then i cover her mouth with my hand and punch her in the stomach and watch the stuff fly out of her nose. I catch the spray of shit and jiz and blood with my mouth and swallow it hole. Then my daughter comes in and i fuck her in the ass while i suck my sons dick. While this is going on my wife starts banging my father and mother. I then fuck my mother and father while my wife fucks my kids. Then I blow my dads asshole and jerk him off. Then the dog comes in and i fuck it too. I then kill my mother with a gun and fuck the bullet hole. We all join in the blood orgy and piss on one another. We shit in the piss and blood and then puke in it. Then we dump it in a kiddy pool full of dead midgets and aborted babies. We then jump in the pool and bang the hell out of eachother. I chop off my wifes boobs and she cuts off my dick, she sucks my stump and eats my balls. Then 3 midgets standing on eachothers heads come in and we kill them and add them to the pool. We slurp up everything in the pool and puke it on the audience. Then i smash my wife's head with a sledge hammer and cover the audience with her brains gallagher style. We take a bow and leave." The Talent agent says: "Holy shit! whats the act called?" the family replies: " The Aristocrats!".......Try and get to sleep tonight now!
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3.
1) A joke common among comedians, but usually not shared with a general audience because of excessive obscenity. The joke always begins with a family entering a talent agency and asking to show the agent their family act. The joke teller then improvises the middle of the joke with an act filled with profanity, bodily functions, incest, and any other obscene material the comedian can think of. At the end of the act, the stunned agent asks the family what they call it, and they reply with the punchline: "The Aristocrats!" The punchline is not as important or funny as the improvised description of the act.
2) The funniest fucking joke in the entire universe.
"Did you see that new documentary about the Aristocrats? It's the funniest fucking joke in the entire universe!"
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4.
The funniest joke ever invented in the history of humor. A joke so funny hearing it without proper preparation could cause death or serious internal bleeding.
........I don't get it.
5.
An common joke among comedians involving a travelling family of performers doing bizarre sex acts with each other during an audition in front of a talent scout. When the talent scout asks what they call themselves, the lead proudly announces, "The Aristocrats!"
The point of this joke is not the punchline, "The Aristocrats!", but rather the gratuitous descriptions of the sex acts and bodily fluids. These vary depending on the teller. Below is a short example of the joke.
So, a family goes in to a talent scout asking for an audition, and the talent scout says, OK.
The father proceeds to undress himself and rips the clothes off his family, have all sorts of sex with his entire family, and by the end, the room is covered in urine, semen, feces, blood, sweat, tears, vaginal juices, vomit, hair, spit, earwax, mucus, toenails, fingernails, and little bits of skin.
You can imagine the kind of things that must have gone on...
When asked what they call the act, the father responds,
"The Aristocrats!"
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