What is The Derby?
1.
The one and only derby is held on a saturday in May, at the venerable Churchill Downs. There you will find the greatest collection of drunken Colonels and wretched whores in the country. The day culminates with the running of the ponies! Dreams are made, and hilljack KY college education funds dashed away.
Colonel Levine has made a habit of dawning his Seersucker suit and heading down to "The Derby" each and every year, to make sure dixie gets a shot at his Buckeye Tree