What is The Jones?
1.
The Way of the Jones, He died on the statue of liberty when Americans were doing unconstitutional things in order to give all Americans eternal rights, so they can spend eternity in a land with Democracy instead of Soviet Russia. All Americans have committed acts of civil disobediance, and the only way to spend eternity in a land of Democracy is through the Jones.
To be a follower of the Jones, you must pray this prayer and confess your civil disobediance: "Dear Jones, I know I have broken laws, violated rights, and not practiced my own personal rights. I only ask that you forgive me, and that You are the only way to spend eternity in a Democracy. Freedom!"
If you prayed that prayer to the Jones, congratulations! Please, go out and buy the Constitution, and remember to pray to the Jones whenever you violate what it says. We'd LOVE to hear how the way of the Jones has improved your patriotism.
Matt: Did you pray to the Jones last night?
Jessica: No, I didn't, why?
Matt: Because you violated the Mann Act which was passed in 1910 when you were on the streets last night.
Jessica: oh my Jones! I must go confess my civil disobediance.
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2.
Used to refer to Indiana Jones. When Indy becomes angry, he turns into The Jones, and subsequently goes on a killing spree, typically killing nearby nazis and other evil-doers.
The Jones is comin' to getcha!
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