What is The Old Bill?
1.
Centre of liberty, nobility and honour. The centre of existence where the sun shines forever and anon. The Old Bill is a symbol to the faithful inhabitants of the northern district of Liverpool called Evertonia. Old, true and loyal football supporters from the city of Liverpool hail from the shadow of the Old Bill and they exclusively support Everton Football Club, a club that represents the downtrodden and who encapsulates the notion that you love your homeland for eternity. The Old Bill is not immune to superficial decay as human neglect and the torments of the scouse weather can attack the ancient old brick which resembles a furnace when the shines upon on it. However, the greatest threat to the future of the Old Bill is the ravages inflicted on it by Der Kopite. Der Kopite has taken it upon himself to carry through the wholesale destruction of this venerable structure for the Der Kopite knows that the good men and women of the tree lined streets of Evertonia can only endure the misery of living in a Kopite controlled city by looking to the defiant spire of the Old Bill which can be seen through the whole of Evertonia and indeed to the very edges of the city of Liverpool. The consequences if the Old Bill were to crumble into dust can barely be comprehended but undoubtedly it would mean the ruination of Everton Football Club, the annhilation of the morale of the few good people left in Liverpool (a city controlled by eastern vermin who wear replica red shirts, drink pints of lager on sunday in a gangster controlled public house while watching 'their' football team, Liverpool F.C., play on the propaganda channel, Sky Sports) and finally as Dostoyevsky said "If the Old Bill does not exist, then everything is permitted". In short, NO OLD BILL=ANARCHY. Good men of Evertonia stand tall and fight back!
In the beginning God created the Old Bill. And God saw that it was good. And God got bored and decided to create more mundane things like the Earth and finally, as a bit of lark, he created Man.
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