What is The Ox?
1.
the heroic and fabled figure of the unstoppable Vale Royal and the pivotal figure in its championship winning dodgeball team
the Ox can never be referred to as a human as its origins are unknown, many claiming it as the second coming
nicknamed the Ox due its immense presence and composure, its exploits are legendary and renowned as far as its enormous stride takes it
its reputation has seen many pretenders appear including 'the bull' 'the eel' 'the rat' and 'the hippo' yet none have ever been near to matching its superior excellence in all it undertakes
"ive got the Ox" "how the fuck did that Ox get through" "that Ox!" (anonymous opposition player)
"i heard that he appears on japanese banknotes and that there's an airport in russia named after him" (Connell)
"I heard his ginger hair is the answer to renewable energy" (Monty)
"Some say, that he give people orgams just by simply touching them!? And that his skin naturally smells of success!?" (Shetland)
"I sometimes think Whelan should be numbered among the secular saints. He came out of privelleged middlewich to give the ox to the common people.” (Archbishop of Canterbury)
"Whelan is the greatest man in world history, and there would only be one Ox in the world.” (Treaty of Versailles)
"I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The Ox is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear"
(Nelson Mandela)
See
2.
a nickname for
The Ox wrote Boris the Spider
See
