What is The Rainforest Café?
1.
Large jungle-themed restaurant owned by the Landry's Corporation. Typically falls just short of pimping out its employees in its never-ending quest to squeeze every last goddamn dime out of customers. Often mistakes the criteria for what makes a rainforest animal (note: Kodiak Grizzlies do not live in the rainforest) and what constitutes an appropriate rainforest soundtrack (note: nix the jazz flute and the country rock ballads). Management handpicks leering hispanic men and manic fucktard douchebags to round out the staff. Don't snap on the retail girls because you don't understand the dynamics of capitalism.
Man: Wtf there is a petite mexican man inside that 6' tree frog costume. Why is he bipedal, why does he stink of febreze.
Woman: Why, that's Cha Cha! The Rainforest Café's lovable mascot here to lift your spirits and enliven your child's day.
Man: I've decided to go batshit insane on the next person to take my picture for $5.99 or offer me membership to their Safari Club program.
Woman: Why is it so loud in here? The foliage overhead is extremely dusty. Are those fish real? Those uniforms are
fugly .
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