What is The Sexiest Devotchka?


1.

A fantastically tall DANISH IRISH high-jumper from "Da Mesa" in Santa Barbara, California. While many believe she's a barely-legal dead-sexy blonde, the fact of the matter is she's not legal at all! Note that this does not stop the amazingly high Crunkage rates, including (but not limited to):

1. Vanilla Rum in Las Vegas, NV

2. Multiple Screwdrivers in Las Vegas, NV

3. "Kelli's Jungle Punch" in Ventura, CA

4. Braaaaaandizzle's "What the fuck happened last night" drink and smokefest in Oak View, California

Few can control her, with the exception of Negro Police on bicycles and Nutella Salesmen (Not to mention her old-bald-guy fetish king, The Bruce.)

Has been known (at times) to have construction workers incarcerated at her leisure.

Often found near the "Straight Neeg" Nathalie (Follow the scent of Marijuana)

You'd hit it. Oh yes, You'd Hit It.

Hey, did you hear about The Sexiest Devotchka's lame friend who drank 1/10th of Vodka? Haha what a pussy!

2.

6 foot tall, badass motherfucker, don't mess with this bitch or you'll get the horns.

Background: Danish, Swedish, German, Irish

This bitch will fully own you if you act awry.

Aliases:

Kel

Kelli

Long Dong Kong

Woozass

The Tall Hot Blonde

Badass Motherfucker

Dontonson

Loyal to the end, if you cross her...you better watch your back, she'll rampage

Happy to be:

Your friend

Your bartender

Your body guard

Your mentor

Your sidekick

Your lapdog

Your most loyal of deciples

Dude did you see that chick?! She fully went Sexiest Devotchka on that idiot's

ass!!

See blah


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