Timothy Treadwell

What is Timothy Treadwell?


1.

Born Timothy Dexter. Classicnarcissist. Reformed alcoholicand drug addict, might not have entirely straightened out. Claimed, without verification, to have been the theoretical second choice for the role of Woody Harrelson's character, "Woody" Boyd, in Cheers. Became a wackypseudo-environmentalistwingnutscrewballsup who travelled to Alaskafrom round about 1990 to his deathin 2003 to try to get ... close to ... bears. Documented his exploits on videocam, some of said footage making the guts of Werner Hertzog's biopic" Grizzly Man". Ended up doing a Michael Jacksonimpression over steaming bear shit. Came to believe he was the bears' last good hope, and started ranting on-camera against the wildlife service, humanityin general, et cetera.

In the autumnof 2003 he tried heading back south to be with his familyor other friends; at the airporthe got into a towering rage with somebody and failed to boardthe plane, instead returning to the Alaskan lake shore where he had spent the summer. Unfortunately and despite his assumed name, in so doing he didn't tread very well at all. In the meantime his favourite bear clan had all gone into hibernationand another group had moved in to time-share the place, where a few weeks later Treadwell was reminded of the six basic relationships an animalspecies may have with other animals in the wild: you ignore it, it picks off your parasites, you pick off its parasites, you fuckit, you eatit, it eats you. This list included the last option, and unfortunately he had taken his latest girlfriendalong for the ride as well. After the bears had dined on long pigto their hearts' content the park rangers arrived to collect the leftovers and shoot the bears.

Living proof (better still, dead proof) that you shouldn't believe everything you see on Walt Disney movies.

I wanted to be an eco-warrior when I was younger, but then I heard about Timothy Treadwell and wizened up.

See wingnut, loony, neuron-free zone, bears, sometimes you eat the bear, walt disney, danger, airhead


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