What is Tom Cruise?
1.
Overrated douchebag who practices
Tom Cruise is well-known and famous for playing the sexually-frustrated homosexual aviator "Maverick" in Top Gun
2.
Movie star who only uses 2 facial expressions in every movie he's in: smiling and not smiling.
Bad guy: I can see that your very upset.
Tom Cruise: You've never seen me...very upset.
3.
A person who will reduce themselves to doing absolutely ridiculous acts to avoid being labeled as a homosexual. These acts and publicity stunts do more damage to one's reputation than coming out of the closet would.
Tom Cruise danced around like a damn fool on the Oprah show, trying to convince us all that he just LOOOOVES Katie Holmes.
4.
A Dip Shit. An advocate of the ineptly named
My psychiatric advice for Tom is that he should stick to mediocre acting in mediocre movies. Heres to you dieing of a drug OD sometime soon :).
Here we see Tom out of his natural habitat, doing a live interview with Matt Lauer. Notice how eloquent he is.
TOM CRUISE: No. No. Abs-- Matt, that is-- the-- post-- now-- now, you're talking about two different things.
Once more... Tom flexes his intellectual muscles.
TOM CRUISE: Okay. So, now you look at-- and you go okay. A-- a departure from that ideal scene is someone taking drugs, okay. And then you go, okay. What is the theory and the science behind that, that justifies that?
See
5.
Exremely soluble professional couch-jumper and squinter. See
You're a jerk! Now why would you do that?
6.
A loopy-ass muthafucka who jumps up on sofas and embarasses Dawson's girlfriend all the time. See
Tom Cruise is wack. He needs to get up out of Oprah's grill and stop jumping around like a 5 year old.
7.
Slang for insane, insanity, gone crazy.
Did you notice how Katie Holmes dissappeared from the world for two weeks? She's gone totally Tom Cruise.
