What is Topshop?
1.
Topshop is the popular highstreet shop which provides the uniform for the entire female populace of the UK aged between 17-21.
The vast majority of these females congregate on university campuses, often bemusing passers by with the ability to blend in with one another and become just as indistinguishable as the person next to them.
Occasionally, large groups of identical females can be seen trawling the highstreet in the evenings in hunt of a male to satisfy their tragically low self-esteem and reassure their superficial personna. These groups are known as "Topshop Brigades". Approach with caution, or lots of money and pseudo-compliments.
Person 1: Dude, with a gene pool full of identical human beings, the human race is fucked!
Person 2: Relax! These people are all genetically different, they just happen to look the same. Although you are correct, with another generation of superficial and fake individuals to look forward to, we are indeed fucked :(.
Person 1: Wow, it's my lucky night man! I just scored with two identical twins!
Person 2: Caution! That's the topshop army you're messing with!
Person 1: Oh man, how could I have been so blind? I'm going to go home and cut off my genitals so I never make that mistake again!
Topshop girl 1: Hey, have you seen my new outfit?
Topshop girl 2: Hey! I have one just like it!
Normal individual: Hey ladies, have you seen these new grenade shaped purses?
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2.
Gesture made between mates, reafirming their close friendship. (See Mighty Boosh Series 1)
One friend says to the other in soft and slightly inquisitive tones, whilst lighty taping said friend in a comforting manner with a their hand (fingers bunched together and touching the thumb) "Topshop?"
Friend replies with similar gesture to any part of friends body replying simply "Topshop."
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3.
1. An expensive high street shop where Kate Moss has her own stupid fashion range
2. A scene shop for Emo's to shop when they go through their 'i love pretty flowers, hello kitty and ice cream' stage and when they want to be more 'different' than they already claim to be. Aside from that topshop sell some very pretty clothes for 'Normal' people who genuinely are interested in fashion.
1. 'Wanna go to Topshop today?'
'FUCK no, i don't wanna spend ££'s on stupid wemo clothes designed by Kate Moss!'
2. 'I love topshop'
'Why?'
'They sell pretty flowery things which i could wear and pass off for being my own unique style'
'Fuck off, wemo'
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4.
The worst shop on the high street.
you get dirty looks for even walking past. ridiculously expensive and their clothes are actually very very poor quality.
"OMG I LOVE TOPSHOP..." - "Ha, okay..."
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