What is Touching Cloth?
1.
when the turtle head of ones faeces pretudes to the extent that it touches the cloth which comprises ones underwear. A crude expression with a mighty impact.
-"I am ever so glad i wore baggy boxer shorts today".
-"really egbert why is that".
-well humbert to be quite frank i am touching cloth.
-oh you are desperate to empty your bowels and are finding it hard to keep the turtles head under reigns.
-quite, and now i am afraid the turtles head has broken through my anal gates and is causing one great discomfort.
-i see, well it is lucky you are wearing spacious boxer shorts for if you were wearing y fronts the turtle may have been crushed resulting in a mess in ones pants.
-never mind i am starting to quite enjoy the sensation it is similar to when you insert your penis through my cheeks to the brown.
-oh well i dont know why you are complaining in that case it would be more like a terrapin head as my penis is terribly small due to the inbred nature of my family.
-dont beat yourself up you make up for it with your 11 fingers.
2.
A saying that is used when someone has waited FAR too long to have a shit. It
verbalises the possible condition that the lead end of a shit has protruded beyond the opening of the anus and has made contact with their undergarment.
I need to find a bathroom right now.. I'm TOUCHING CLOTH
See
3.
When the prairrie dog pops it head out of the burrow and is almost headbutting the undergarments.The time immediately preceeding the arrival of a
fuck i'm touching cloth.We'd better find a toilet soon or i'll lay a nest of
dogs eggs in my fucking strides
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4.
when one needs to use the lavatry so bad that it is unbearable and the excrement begins to touch your underwear.
Touching cloth is the stage before the term running (or rolling depending on the shape)down ur leg and after the stage of losing control of ur bowels. Touching cloth more often than not leads to stains so, heavens, please do be aware
Emma: oh gee i think im touching cloth colleen
Colleen: oh emma i do believe i am also touching cloth
Emma: yahaha yahha golly thats astounding lets go clean up
Colleen: that would be great. would you mind if i were to have a joint which i rolled this morning
Emma: why id be offended if you didnt
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5.
When you are struggling to hold in a poo, and its tip has breached the sphincter and is touching your underwear.
Dude, I've gotta get to a toilet quick, I'm touching cloth here!
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6.
When the head of your brown trout is appearing unbidden on-deck. When the nose of the turtle's head is beginning to rub on the undergarments you are currently wearing.
I'm sorry your Majesty, I may have to leave abruptly as I'm touching cloth...
7.
having an urge to shit and hold on
i was driving home the other night and really needed a turd seriously i was touching cloth i was that close
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