What is Towner?
1.
Any person who likes to draw attention to one’s self in order to feel secure.
They feel most at home downtown, where they are free to attend numerous clubs and show off various useless skills.
Often on the shorter side, these people destroy anything/anyone that crosses their paths, including rampaging pencil-maniacs. In that particular case, the offenders are taunted then thrown into tables.
They do not respond well to any type of adult authority. Yet they still manage to avoid consequences in most situations.
On numerous occasions their free time is spent playing ridiculous pranks. Some of these pranks include stuffing a turkey in a classmate’s locker (this later ended up on the roof of the school) and leaving bags of feces on people’s door steps.
They most often are dressed in black with the occasional “too blue” jeans. In this case, they complain for an hour or so when they have realized their wardrobe malfunction. Changing the color has been attempted by scribbling over the odd colored areas with a pencil.
Along with the hoodie they would rather not part with despite the broken zipper, they also have a tendency to walk around the school singing songs recorded by The Beatles and The Doors. They do so while wearing their “Stoner Shades” which are more commonly known as Aviators.
They also have a tendency to injure themselves completing pointless actions. These moments usually occur on the way to or during the most boring class of the day. Some acts of stupidity include punching a locker, banging their knuckles against the side of a table, and numerous attempts to bring the feeling back into their numb limbs.
That Derek kid is such a fucking towner.
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2.
A simply amazing person, usually male. Someone with an amazing dress sense and the hair style of a true god. Without them the world would be a worse place and contain no one to idolise.
Woah, did you see that Towner today?
I want to be that Towner kid.
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